kaientai | 「 jigokucho

[ the severity of the threats means he cares... ]

No need to do that! Sorry if I made you worry, Izō.

Ya didn't. [ He did. ] I jus' wanted t' make sure ya didn't die.

[ Should he say it? He's going to. ]

At least yer in one piece...Glad ya ain't dead.

I'm glad you're alright too.

[ and then it hits him that he probably should've been the one to reach out first. isn't that something he wants to prove? ]

I should've sent you a message.

[ he's been going since it all happened but that's hardly an excuse when it comes to feeling guilty about this. ]

's fine...Ya prolly had a lotta shit goin' on.

[ He always does. Izō's well-being shouldn't factor in to anything he's doing. ]

Ya didn't get shot, did ya?

[ ryouma hesitates because he doesn't want to lie but nothing about this feels very good right now. he's a bad liar anyway, so he doesn't try it. ]

Not in a way that matters, so... no?

[ that's the truth!! ]

...So yer sayin' ya did.

[ Izō is kind of pissed off now!! ]

Idiot...

It's no big deal!

[ nervous laughter. it's FINE. ]

What was I supposed to do? [ not get shot? ] I thought I could help...

Ya weren't supposed t' get shot, ya dumbass! At least ya ain't dead...I'd tell ya t' be careful but I know ya won't fuckin' listen.

I'm really hoping it won't come down to something like this in the future...

[ which he realises just in saying so is wildly optimistic, especially if his theories are correct. can't hurt to hope? ]

D'ya know how stupid that sounds?! Yer jus' gonna get yer ass killed again... [ A long pause and then he mutters: ] Not that I care...

[ He does care. He cares a lot. ]

Well, I'm still a Servant so that's something in my favour, right?

[ he won't end up dead if he's harder to kill? this is not an ideal way of looking at it. his voice gets quieter when he speaks again. ]

Anyway, I'm not being too careless. I can't help but feel like the Daitengu's counting on me.

[ he doesn't like admitting it and probably wouldn't admit it to anyone else because it sounds too self-important. mostly it's the pressure he's been imposing on himself which has not improved since the Daitengu called him out by name. ]

Yer puttin' all this on yerself, ain't ya... [ Izō sounds tired. ] Whatever, jus' don't end up in th' river again.

I thought that was pretty funny!

[ he's not deflecting... izō doesn't sound like the wants to talk about that anyway!! ]

It could have been worse..?

Yeah, they coulda fuckin' killed ya. Ya ain't always gonna get as lucky as ya did when ya were alive.

[ Is Izō scolding him?? What is this world coming to? ]

I like to think I wouldn't have let it get that far. Plus, we're all on the same side anyway! No reason to get aggressive when someone just wants to get to know you.

[ which is, of course, a silly thing to say to a guy who definitely gets aggressive when someone just wants to get to know him but still. ]

Shut up...Anyway, ya gotta minute? I jus'...wanna see ya for a bit.

[ It doesn't have to be long. The whole mess rattled Izō pretty badly; he just wants to see the people he cares about. ]

[ he's so glad this isn't a video call. there are too many things to pick apart to try and analyse why he feels like he does, but it's ultimately a happy feeling. it takes him a few seconds longer to respond and he doesn't entirely get his voice not to waver, but he avoids embarrassing himself, at least. ]

I've always got time for you, Izō.

[ he's said that before, in other ways, but he feels like he needs to say it again right now. ]

You can come here if you want or I can meet you. Guess it depends on what you feel like drinking, hm?

[ he's been violating doctor's orders this long, why stop now? ]

Don't get all soft on me now...I'm comin' over. Got somethin' we can share.

[ It's not good, by any means, but it exists and it is capable of getting them drunk, so it's fine. ]

Better not be this soft when I get over there.

[ Because he can't handle it in person. It's bad enough over the phone. ]

[ oh, yeah. tone down the feelings about this, but izō is even bringing something himself?? it's such a normal gesture that maybe he should ask himself more questions about why he's making such a big deal out of it but then the realisation that izō is going to come here after all sets in and... well, that changes his tune a little. now ryouma has something else to think about on top of everything else.

he only has the one room but it sure is in a state. it's fine. he has time. ]

Er... sorry. [ see? it's funny. he's laughing. ] Wouldn't worry about that! Here, I'll send you the address.

[ the good news is with everything going on, there's unlikely to be anyone around to give izō a hard time. ryouma's planned ahead for the possibility that izō might come around some time, so someone somewhere has izō's name on a list (probably) anyway. ]

[ Izō comes by not long later, a bottle of cheap sake in hand. It's good that he also lives like an animal except with someone else, so the state of Ryouma's apartment can't be that bad. ]

Ya better not make me regret comin' by.

[ ryouma has managed to scrape things into enough piles to create some semblance of order. which is to say he's stacked up a lot of things along one wall. papers, notes, books, comics. whatever. all of it in piles. not important, don't look. there's nothing to be done about the maps and notes pinned and taped to the wall. that's to be expected. he's like this.

there's a big bag of garbage by the door and he never got around to gathering up a lot of instant cup noodle debris but whatever. he has been very legitimately busy even before the assassination fiasco. that ryouma bothers to fold his uniform neatly in the midst of this shows where his priorities are, maybe? or it's just a weird habit he's come to develop at some point. in any case, ryouma is sticking to kimonos because it's less uncomfortable to take them on and off at the moment, but it's not the same one he wore to the parade. ~~seeing as he bled on that one.~~ ]

Now, why would that happen? [ don't answer that. ] Everything's fine, see?

[ he has definitely looked worse. and better. but that's not important, focus on the fact that he's looked worse. ]

[ If it weren't for the state of Izō's own apartment, he'd be judging the fuck out of Ryouma. He's impressed it isn't worse, honestly. ]

Is it? [ He shoves the bottle into Ryouma's hand. ] Don't fuckin' lie...Ya look like shit.

[ Like Izō doesn't. Karasu spent a lot of time in control and that took a lot out of him. ]

[ if izō has showed up ten minutes earlier this would look a lot different.

fortunately, izō shoves the bottle into ryouma's good hand because he's favouring the other. he'd kept right on like everything was normal all night and now he's paying for it. it's resting in the sling he should've been using the whole time, but since he usually keeps his left arm like that anyway he doesn't feel compelled to immediately explain himself either. not like it's a big deal.

ryouma sets the bottle on the low table and only has to grab a couple of clean cups down off a shelf, having bought some since he figured this exact thing might happen some day. ]

Then I guess we both deserve a break. It's hard to believe today hasn't been longer than just an exhausting day.

[ He practically throws himself down by the table with a sigh. This night can only go up from here, right? It's not like Ryouma favoring one arm went unnoticed, either. Here he is, useless as ever and unable to protect the people he cares about. ]

Ya went and get yerself hurt, didn't ya? ...Idiot.

[ The solution is to be a pain in the ass, of course. ]

[ ryouma sits down, setting the bottle on the table and then the cups. despite the injury he gets along well enough because he's done this before; it's not the first time he's had to get by on one and a half hands. he's perfectly capable of pouring sake. ]

It's not that bad, honestly! I was supposed to be resting it but I was busy so I hadn't had a chance to until now. It's just a little sore, that's all.

[ he doesn't mind izō giving him a hard time at all. it's comforting, if anything, how normal and familiar it feels when nothing else does. ]

Glad you're here, Izō...

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