[ ryouma dares to be hopeful up until the mention of the shooting. it's not that he forgot — because he'll never forgive himself for that — but he feels intensely guilty every time it's mentioned. he really only has his major hang-ups right here, what with his stubborn determination to do everything else in his life without regrets. ]
But y' know I never meant for that to happen, right? I was tryin' to protect ya, not—... not what happened.
[ he could be talking about either situation, and the words would be just as true. this fact has never been lost on him, which is part of why he feels bad about it. ]
I'm sorry, Izō. I never regretted anything more than leavin' ya.
[ there's a lot more he wants to say, but it's hard to find the right words for everything. at least he's apologised, especially since it's what he should've done the last time they had an awkward conversation. instead, he confessed his feelings back then, like a fool who didn't deserve to say any of those things. ]
If I coulda taken it all back and done it differently, I would. I feel like I oughta say somethin' else, but now that it's happenin' I'm not sure what t' say. Not sure they make the kinda words to apologise for ruinin' somebody's life.
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But y' know I never meant for that to happen, right? I was tryin' to protect ya, not—... not what happened.
[ he could be talking about either situation, and the words would be just as true. this fact has never been lost on him, which is part of why he feels bad about it. ]
I'm sorry, Izō. I never regretted anything more than leavin' ya.
[ there's a lot more he wants to say, but it's hard to find the right words for everything. at least he's apologised, especially since it's what he should've done the last time they had an awkward conversation. instead, he confessed his feelings back then, like a fool who didn't deserve to say any of those things. ]
If I coulda taken it all back and done it differently, I would. I feel like I oughta say somethin' else, but now that it's happenin' I'm not sure what t' say. Not sure they make the kinda words to apologise for ruinin' somebody's life.