(This is clearly not what he meant and it shows! He leans back in a mix of surprise and annoyance and scowls. It's something like a cat pulling back, fur on edge, ears back, hissing... but without the actual hissing.
Truly, the ability to take his words and turn their meaning into something else entirely against him has to be some sort of super power.)
That's not what I meant! (How? Does he do that? His hand twitches around his cup. Don't tempt him.) You know what I meant, too!
[ look. he didn't broker an impossible deal once upon a time for nothing. his ability to destabilise people is just a thing. ]
You're not wrong. I'm also not telling you to do anything you don't want to do. You've been good company for dinner though and I'm not taking that one back.
That might not have been the reason you did it, but it doesn't mean it isn't still true. Sometimes it's easy to feel totally alone even in a city like this, so good company is valuable.
[ and that's the closest he'll get to admitting that he was feeling especially lonely and unsettled after everything and so coming out here served as a very welcome distraction that'll help him get through the night. ]
[ ryouma can't not ask. sure, he's quite possibly just latching onto anything at this point but that's sort of how it is when you're a little desperate. he doesn't figure hizen is the type for platitudes, but even that coming from someone who isn't himself would be better than nothing. ]
[ it takes him a second but then it clicks and he has to bite his tongue before too many questions start rolling out. ]
Well, that is a nice thought, isn't it?
[ and with the way hizen looks like he's going to melt out of his seat, it obviously isn't easy for him to say so. ryouma appreciates it more than he knows hizen would appreciate him to express, but he's never been good at controlling the look on his face in times like these. ]
...'Course there's two ancestral Sakamoto treasures an' all.
[ ryouma is well aware of the threat and the warning but instead of backing down he just reaches over and refills the cup. because it's clearly empty and in his experience with izō, a refilled cup does better as an apology than an actual apology. ]
I'm happy you're willing to sit and drink with me, honestly. Couldn't ask for better than that. But I consider Izō family too, you know? Even if he'd probably react the same way if I said so...
[ so as long as izō never sends him away for real, hizen is stuck with him by association. ]
I don't expect either of you to forgive me, but—...
[ but what? he's not sure. good thing he still has sake left for himself. ]
Us men of Tosa oughta stick together.
[ who cares what hizen's name is and all that ryouma doesn't see it he only sees what he wants.
what he isn't saying is that he worries. he doesn't have a poor opinion of toraguma so far but he knows what he's seen and heard of the shuten culture. it doesn't matter if they're skilled at violence and killing; it's not what he would want to see either of them do any more if he can help it. so he worries and wants to keep them close — even knowing it won't change a thing until he finds a way. this is one of several reasons why he keeps pushing himself. ]
(A full cup also can't be used as a weapon because like hell he's going to waste a single drop. His eyes narrow at the refill, too, the gears in his head slowly starting to turn to figure out what the trick is here. He slides his cup closer to him, on the very edge of the table as if to guard it from any other refills.
He can't really argue with how Ryouma feels about other people. It's easy to reject anything directed at him but he won't speak on Izo's behalf no matter how similar they may be. What he can argue against is--)
Saying that now...
(Ryouma doesn't get to leave and give him away and preach togetherness.)
Whatever.
(And he drinks. Ryouam will find some other project to focus on. He probably already has. Unfortunately.)
[ sorry hizen, he's gotten too good at that trick not only because he hangs out with izō but simply a lot of experience negotiating with people easily plied with alcohol. ]
That's right. I am saying that now 'cause I can't change what happened back then but I can choose what happens right now!
[ he smacks a hand against the table for emphasis! ]
I look at the past for ideas. Places where I could try something else next time. Otherwise, how do you create a better future?
[ and really, he's probably gotten louder with every cup of sake he's finished off since they started and it's been a few. ]
I can't stop getting ideas. Even when I was doing all that other work I always had ideas. If I stopped then I would probably stop altogether. That's what I'm around for, you know?
(Please, Ryouma, have some public decency?? Act like a decent person? This isn't even bad and he knows it but he's trying to curb it now. How can he enjoy his own drinks when he now has this compulsion to be sober because someone has to be in this situation.)
And stop making a big deal out of nothing. You're not the only guy here.
(SOMEONE HAS TO KEEP HIM HUMBLE but also please... its not like everyone is here for a reason.)
[ he will keep pouring drinks so long as hizen keeps drinking them to facilitate this because ryouma is a terrible enabler. ]
It ain't a big deal at all either. Jus' what I've always said; my life's only purpose is accomplishin' my duty. Never know exactly what that is, I jus' go along doin' what I can 'til I can't.
(Izo had said something similar and Hizen slinks back into his chair, letting his cup be filled, taking another drink. He can't lighten up. He doesn't know how? Not without drinking enough that he forgets his restraints or eating enough that he just wants to sleep.)
Exhausting.
(Ryouma makes him so tired. He's tired. But it might also be the amount of alcohol he's had making him drowsy.)
Whatever. 's not like either of ya listen to anyone but yourselves anyway... (Another drink, an empty cup, he places it upside down-- a sign to Ryouma that he's had enough; not of drinking but of their time together.) Just one thing...
(And he frowns, getting up from his seat and looking down... not at Ryouma but at the floor. He can't quite look at him directly when he speaks.)
Whatever you decide to do... keep him close to you.
(...
And he lets out a loud sigh, one that makes the tables nearby look to see what the problem is this time.)
[ in times like these, he's grateful neither hizen nor izō seems to feel comfortable looking at him when it feels like this. what exactly "this" entails feelings-wise ryouma isn't certain, but it's the sort of thing he prefers not to let on to anyone else. ]
S'prised y' know about that...
[ he's drunk, so he's not really thinking, and the words slip out. did someone tell hizen? he supposes if that guy exists, perhaps it came up some time? fact is, ryouma isn't even sure if hizen was referring to the specific time he failed to keep his sword close or if it was just a general bit of sound advice. well, whatever the case, ryouma appreciates hizen's words all the same. ]
Thanks, Hizen. For that an' for drinkin' with me again.
(Hizen, unfortunately, knows everything. If anything, he probably knows more than Ryouma if only because his job allows him to see all of the sides, the before, during, and after. Mutsunokami Yoshiyuki is a lively spirit, certainly better than Hizen on all counts, but Hizen knows what he keeps with him, even if he doesn't share it with others.
He won't elaborate anymore for Ryouma, though. That would mean talking more and... it looks like Ryouma wouldn't want to talk about it either. It's best to just leave it and he only hums something in acknowledgement and leaves to pay.
Whenever Ryouma gets up to pay, he'll find that someone has already paid for him, too.)
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Truly, the ability to take his words and turn their meaning into something else entirely against him has to be some sort of super power.)
That's not what I meant! (How? Does he do that? His hand twitches around his cup. Don't tempt him.) You know what I meant, too!
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You're not wrong. I'm also not telling you to do anything you don't want to do. You've been good company for dinner though and I'm not taking that one back.
[ so too bad. ]
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Just stop talking!
(He hates this. It's getting weird.)
I didn't ask you out for company!
(He just? Wanted to share some information? Gather some information for himself? It's all business!)
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[ and that's the closest he'll get to admitting that he was feeling especially lonely and unsettled after everything and so coming out here served as a very welcome distraction that'll help him get through the night. ]
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(Drinking and mumbling into his cup.)
's not like you're really alone...
(As long as he has his sword with him.)
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[ ryouma can't not ask. sure, he's quite possibly just latching onto anything at this point but that's sort of how it is when you're a little desperate. he doesn't figure hizen is the type for platitudes, but even that coming from someone who isn't himself would be better than nothing. ]
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Ya know. That guy. Even if ya can't see him or anything...
(He's slouching horribly now. It's barely even sitting,)
An ancestral treasure... 's like having family with ya...
(Mumble, mumble.)
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[ it takes him a second but then it clicks and he has to bite his tongue before too many questions start rolling out. ]
Well, that is a nice thought, isn't it?
[ and with the way hizen looks like he's going to melt out of his seat, it obviously isn't easy for him to say so. ryouma appreciates it more than he knows hizen would appreciate him to express, but he's never been good at controlling the look on his face in times like these. ]
...'Course there's two ancestral Sakamoto treasures an' all.
[ just gently pointing out the facts. ]
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(It's Mutsunokami's. Who probably got it from Ryouma or something. As for that last point? He's quick to snap,)
One. I've got nothing to do with you anymore.
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[ but he did anyway. and it's nice!! and it makes ryouma feel good! wow, accept it hizen. ]
And I dunno... that crest of yours is still half a Sakamoto crest, right?
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I said--
(Gritting his teeth, doing his best to not chuck his cup at Ryouma now that its empty,)
I got nothing to do with ya anymore.
(He doesn't get to give him away and call him his still.)
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I'm happy you're willing to sit and drink with me, honestly. Couldn't ask for better than that. But I consider Izō family too, you know? Even if he'd probably react the same way if I said so...
[ so as long as izō never sends him away for real, hizen is stuck with him by association. ]
I don't expect either of you to forgive me, but—...
[ but what? he's not sure. good thing he still has sake left for himself. ]
Us men of Tosa oughta stick together.
[ who cares what hizen's name is and all that ryouma doesn't see it he only sees what he wants.
what he isn't saying is that he worries. he doesn't have a poor opinion of toraguma so far but he knows what he's seen and heard of the shuten culture. it doesn't matter if they're skilled at violence and killing; it's not what he would want to see either of them do any more if he can help it. so he worries and wants to keep them close — even knowing it won't change a thing until he finds a way. this is one of several reasons why he keeps pushing himself. ]
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He can't really argue with how Ryouma feels about other people. It's easy to reject anything directed at him but he won't speak on Izo's behalf no matter how similar they may be. What he can argue against is--)
Saying that now...
(Ryouma doesn't get to leave and give him away and preach togetherness.)
Whatever.
(And he drinks. Ryouam will find some other project to focus on. He probably already has. Unfortunately.)
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That's right. I am saying that now 'cause I can't change what happened back then but I can choose what happens right now!
[ he smacks a hand against the table for emphasis! ]
I look at the past for ideas. Places where I could try something else next time. Otherwise, how do you create a better future?
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Knock it off! You're being loud!
(Stop, the table next to them is staring because what is happening over here. Hizen shoots them a glare. Quit staring. He hates it.)
And stop getting ideas. Just stay out of trouble. You're already a pain.
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[ and really, he's probably gotten louder with every cup of sake he's finished off since they started and it's been a few. ]
I can't stop getting ideas. Even when I was doing all that other work I always had ideas. If I stopped then I would probably stop altogether. That's what I'm around for, you know?
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He whispers, still hissing,)
You're being embarrassing!
(Please, Ryouma, have some public decency?? Act like a decent person? This isn't even bad and he knows it but he's trying to curb it now. How can he enjoy his own drinks when he now has this compulsion to be sober because someone has to be in this situation.)
And stop making a big deal out of nothing. You're not the only guy here.
(SOMEONE HAS TO KEEP HIM HUMBLE but also please... its not like everyone is here for a reason.)
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[ he will keep pouring drinks so long as hizen keeps drinking them to facilitate this because ryouma is a terrible enabler. ]
It ain't a big deal at all either. Jus' what I've always said; my life's only purpose is accomplishin' my duty. Never know exactly what that is, I jus' go along doin' what I can 'til I can't.
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Exhausting.
(Ryouma makes him so tired. He's tired. But it might also be the amount of alcohol he's had making him drowsy.)
Whatever. 's not like either of ya listen to anyone but yourselves anyway... (Another drink, an empty cup, he places it upside down-- a sign to Ryouma that he's had enough; not of drinking but of their time together.) Just one thing...
(And he frowns, getting up from his seat and looking down... not at Ryouma but at the floor. He can't quite look at him directly when he speaks.)
Whatever you decide to do... keep him close to you.
(...
And he lets out a loud sigh, one that makes the tables nearby look to see what the problem is this time.)
Talking to you makes me tired. 'm going home.
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S'prised y' know about that...
[ he's drunk, so he's not really thinking, and the words slip out. did someone tell hizen? he supposes if that guy exists, perhaps it came up some time? fact is, ryouma isn't even sure if hizen was referring to the specific time he failed to keep his sword close or if it was just a general bit of sound advice. well, whatever the case, ryouma appreciates hizen's words all the same. ]
Thanks, Hizen. For that an' for drinkin' with me again.
[ he recognises how hizen puts up with him. ]
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He won't elaborate anymore for Ryouma, though. That would mean talking more and... it looks like Ryouma wouldn't want to talk about it either. It's best to just leave it and he only hums something in acknowledgement and leaves to pay.
Whenever Ryouma gets up to pay, he'll find that someone has already paid for him, too.)