I had another job for a long time before I ever ended up in Chaldea.
[ he knows he can't hold his liquor like izō can but he still empties the cup once, refills it, and then works on the second. it's not like he didn't ever anticipate having to talk about this but maybe not under these circumstances? ]
I wanted to save people but that's not how it was. It was always too late and all I ended up doing was cleaning up other people's messes. I was angry 'cause all I wanted to do was create the world everyone had been dreaming of but I thought I'd failed—...
[ he cuts himself short because he's treading dangerously close to admitting what happened in the end. he knows he won't be able to avoid it forever — especially not discussing what they are — but no need to rush. he'd thought he'd failed for a long time because why else had it come to this? it wasn't until coming here when he'd really given it more thought that he realised his situation had just been convenient. ]
I wasn't gonna give up but I wasn't real hopeful about figurin' it out any time soon either. I can actually help out around here. Plus, Hizen told me things weren't like how I thought they were. So... of course, I'm happier now. It's hard not t' be. And... y'know... Oryou'll turn up one day, right? She's always followed me!
[ toxic positivity in this area is how he's gotten by this long. ]
no subject
[ he knows he can't hold his liquor like izō can but he still empties the cup once, refills it, and then works on the second. it's not like he didn't ever anticipate having to talk about this but maybe not under these circumstances? ]
I wanted to save people but that's not how it was. It was always too late and all I ended up doing was cleaning up other people's messes. I was angry 'cause all I wanted to do was create the world everyone had been dreaming of but I thought I'd failed—...
[ he cuts himself short because he's treading dangerously close to admitting what happened in the end. he knows he won't be able to avoid it forever — especially not discussing what they are — but no need to rush. he'd thought he'd failed for a long time because why else had it come to this? it wasn't until coming here when he'd really given it more thought that he realised his situation had just been convenient. ]
I wasn't gonna give up but I wasn't real hopeful about figurin' it out any time soon either. I can actually help out around here. Plus, Hizen told me things weren't like how I thought they were. So... of course, I'm happier now. It's hard not t' be. And... y'know... Oryou'll turn up one day, right? She's always followed me!
[ toxic positivity in this area is how he's gotten by this long. ]