[ it's less that he actually says anything and more that the breath escapes him all at once and he doesn't know what to say. which is weird because he usually likes to think he can always find something to say. ]
M' sorry, Izō. I—...
[ he's not sure what he's apologising for. for getting shot? for worrying him, sure. ryouma realises he's sat up properly at some point, his head bowed and his hands on his knees because he's trained himself to be whatever or whoever he's had to be for so long and it feels all wrong. it's too much to take, one too far for as long as he's held it together but since it's not in his nature to give up he's fighting it all the way down. ]
For all of it. For leavin' ya like that. I didn't know...
[ he can't sit there any longer, pulling izō into a tight hug. ryouma wants to comfort him, but it's honestly hard to tell who is comforting who because he feels like he'll fly apart if he lets go too soon. he knows izō can feel that he's struggling too, since he's shaking from the effort. he can't help but feel ashamed because even if he's managed to hold back his own tears so far he thought he'd outgrown showing this sort of weakness — especially when he feels like he should be stronger for the both of them right now. ryouma supposes it can't be helped. ]
I won't leave. I can't—... no, I won't let it happen again. I promise.
[ he doesn't know why he's making promises when he'd just come away from his meeting knowing he's no one and there's so much that's out of his hands. it's stupid and dangerous but anything less doesn't feel like enough. ]
no subject
[ it's less that he actually says anything and more that the breath escapes him all at once and he doesn't know what to say. which is weird because he usually likes to think he can always find something to say. ]
M' sorry, Izō. I—...
[ he's not sure what he's apologising for. for getting shot? for worrying him, sure. ryouma realises he's sat up properly at some point, his head bowed and his hands on his knees because he's trained himself to be whatever or whoever he's had to be for so long and it feels all wrong. it's too much to take, one too far for as long as he's held it together but since it's not in his nature to give up he's fighting it all the way down. ]
For all of it. For leavin' ya like that. I didn't know...
[ he can't sit there any longer, pulling izō into a tight hug. ryouma wants to comfort him, but it's honestly hard to tell who is comforting who because he feels like he'll fly apart if he lets go too soon. he knows izō can feel that he's struggling too, since he's shaking from the effort. he can't help but feel ashamed because even if he's managed to hold back his own tears so far he thought he'd outgrown showing this sort of weakness — especially when he feels like he should be stronger for the both of them right now. ryouma supposes it can't be helped. ]
I won't leave. I can't—... no, I won't let it happen again. I promise.
[ he doesn't know why he's making promises when he'd just come away from his meeting knowing he's no one and there's so much that's out of his hands. it's stupid and dangerous but anything less doesn't feel like enough. ]