[ that was a simpler answer a few days ago. he looks across at his desk and it's shameful how bad he wants to walk over there and finish his drink. he decides to smoke instead. he's been doing a lot of that lately too, but it helps with the stress and he can still keep a clear head. it's not like it matters. ]

... Dunno. 'Cause I want ya t' understand, I guess? I ain't proud of it. I didn't think I'd get another chance, on account of ya already givin' me one.

[ he has no experience with this. ]

Feel like if I ain't honest with ya now, I might not get another shot.

[ he's just going to neatly frame that as his concerns being over something else unexpectedly happening between them and not because he has a deadline... ]