[ the bottle clatters down onto the tabletop, forgotten because he needs two hands. ryouma moving to wrap his arms around izō now and pull him into a hug is like a force, and izō can struggle all he wants, but once ryouma gets his arms around him, he's gonna hold on for dear life. ryouma will apologise later for the imposition, but he's far too lonely, and the guilt is strong and appropriate words have abandoned him.
all he can do is press his face against izō's shoulder and hold on because there's a distinct moment where he's not sure he won't just fall apart. in the most literal sense. the raw wound or whatever it is that never quite lets him forget that he's alone feels like too much to bear. he shakes under its weight and struggles to keep from crying. not again. although does it count if you cry over the same wound? ]
M' sorry, Izō. I made a mistake. I thought I was protectin' ya... I shoulda trusted ya t' know better.
[ there was nowhere in his life that ryouma couldn't have used a good set of eyes or someone as resourceful as izō. he knows that whatever skills izō picked up to do what he needed to do, izō had had to figure out on his own. ryouma is almost certain takechi never personally taught izō that part. he would have picked up a lot of other things instead. by extension, hizen wouldn't be suffering either. there was nowhere that things could have been worse for them, at least that ryouma can tell. he knows he can't change it and there is nothing to be done and all he has is raw emotion he can't communicate. it's not his best look.
sakamoto ryouma has only cried one (1) time in his entire adult life for one specific reason. he's really trying but there is no way he's managing to hold back making it a second time. it's like a dam breaking. yes, he will definitely apologise for this later. ]
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all he can do is press his face against izō's shoulder and hold on because there's a distinct moment where he's not sure he won't just fall apart. in the most literal sense. the raw wound or whatever it is that never quite lets him forget that he's alone feels like too much to bear. he shakes under its weight and struggles to keep from crying. not again. although does it count if you cry over the same wound? ]
M' sorry, Izō. I made a mistake. I thought I was protectin' ya... I shoulda trusted ya t' know better.
[ there was nowhere in his life that ryouma couldn't have used a good set of eyes or someone as resourceful as izō. he knows that whatever skills izō picked up to do what he needed to do, izō had had to figure out on his own.
ryouma is almost certain takechi never personally taught izō that part.he would have picked up a lot of other things instead. by extension, hizen wouldn't be suffering either. there was nowhere that things could have been worse for them, at least that ryouma can tell. he knows he can't change it and there is nothing to be done and all he has is raw emotion he can't communicate. it's not his best look.sakamoto ryouma has only cried one (1) time in his entire adult life for one specific reason. he's really trying but there is no way he's managing to hold back making it a second time. it's like a dam breaking. yes, he will definitely apologise for this later. ]