Ah...

[ he hangs on that for too long because in hindsight it's very easy to see how all the little things had fallen into place just so. go looking for ships on the internet long enough and eventually someone unfolds all the bullet points involved in a disaster and maybe you gain a little clarity about things in your own life. what else is there to think about sometimes when there's nothing and no one and disturbing oryou when she sleeps is like moving a cat? ]

A lot of little things. Wasn't careful. I'm never careful. I still can't change it! [ he laughs because it's funny. ] I didn't wanna hide in the secret shed, so I stayed up in the main house...

[ then there is the last point. the one point that he lives with but he knows izō will probably never understand. because there really was no good reason for what the both of them had done — because nakaoka had set his sword aside too — other than to accept that the timing was right. ]

I didn't have my sword. Neither did Nakaoka. And... there were a lot of them.

[ and he never did learn his lesson from the teradaya before that either... ]