It matters. Don't expect ya to believe me, but it matters...

[ to me, is the unspoken addition he won't—... no, can't say right now. it makes the realisation that izō has people he cares about enough to mention outright a little bittersweet; ryouma will always be happy for izō but he also doesn't assume that he's included in that. it's a dumb, unfair feeling to have, he thinks, because if there should ever be a time when izō moves on without him the only thing he can do is accept it gracefully. that's exactly what he would deserve.

but then none of this feels good and he wishes he hadn't brought any of it up to begin with. ]

Is that what ya wanna hear? I gave 'em a choice like I always do.